Don’t Be Afraid to Treat Yourself (Spa Day)

*Names have been changed to protect identity.  I don’t know if I really have to do that here but I’ll err on the side of caution.

Ahhhhhh day spas, spa days, how I love thee.  All my senses are heightened, ready to take in all the relaxation and pampering and damn it I feel like a queen for a day.

Don’t you judge me.  I am not a frequent spa goer, my first spa experience was only five years ago, and since then, I’ve maybe only gone to spas less than ten times.  But because I go so infrequently, you can imagine how much I cherish each time I do go.

Prior to my first visit ever, I always avoided spas because I knew they tended to be quite pricey.  Despite hearing how relaxing and amazing a spa experience could be, I thought, if it sounds that good, I better stay away because I will always want to come back, and I don’t have the budget to incorporate that into my regular lifestyle.  I knew I’d be addicted if they were that good.

However, after the first few times of ever visiting a spa, I finally, completely, understood what I had been told all those years I avoided spas: it is all for my health and wellness.  If you feel like there’s been a spike in how often you’ve heard that “health and wellness” phrase in recent years, you’re probably right.  It certainly feels like the time we live in now is much more fast-paced than ever.  We try to cram so much into one day, sometimes not eating well in the process, sometimes not getting enough sleep, sometimes not getting up and being active enough.  We put our minds and bodies through a lot, and we forget that we need maintenance.  What good are we if we aren’t one hundred percent?

That is why I believe it’s important to treat yourself.  If you’ve never been to the spa because of the cost, or being touched by a stranger while you’re nude or nearly nude freaks you out, or think that it’s all just a bunch of hooey, well, we’re going to have to disagree.  For those of you who will never consider stepping foot in a spa, I’ll tell you you’re missing out and I’ll drop it.  But for those of you who once looked away from spas and are now on the fence due to a change of heart like I had, perhaps my testimonial can help you.

I recently had a free weekday (and gift cards!) to go to the Burke Williams Spa at San Jose’s Santana Row.  Online booking is available for appointments, but I needed to speak to a live human regarding the balance on my cards.  Either way, it’s pretty easy to schedule.

My treatment of preference when visiting any spa is anything similar to the Exotic Lime and Ginger Salt Glow by Elemis. It’s my absolute favorite.  Your body is lightly brushed, then the salt scrub (mixed with this silky bathing milk) is applied all over and you rinse off in the shower before being moisturized with oil. (Here’s a video that shows a good example of it) AHHH IT’S SOOO GOOD!!  I bought the salt glow and bathing milk when I got this treatment on my cruise four years ago and have done the treatment at home myself but it’s so not the same.

Anyway.  I wanted a salt scrub treatment but it wasn’t available on the day I was free so I had to settle for just a massage.

I had a 9am appointment for a 50-minute, full body massage, the first appointment of the day.  I was told to arrive about an hour prior to that, “to take advantage of all the amenities available” before my official appointment.  I was hesitant to commit to 9am, but the next available time after that was 3pm, and I am not a fan of the afternoon.

Upon arrival, I was immediately greeted at the front desk, signed in, and was escorted to the only co-ed area in the facility: the waiting area where clients wait to be called for their appointments.  It’d be pointless to go into detail about the type of seating in this area.  This is a spa. EVERY SEAT is comfortable.  Any place where you can either sit or lay down is comfortable.  That’s a given.

There were many stations where you could help yourself to some water, the kind with either lemons or cucumber in it.  Tea is also available (I don’t like tea so it was water all day for me).  The front desk attendant who was giving me a tour then proceeded to guide me to the women’s spa, just beyond the co-ed waiting room and separate quiet room (more about this later).  As soon as we walked in, she reminded me that Burke Williams is a European-style spa; bathing suits are optional, which meant there was a chance there would be other women walking around completely or semi-nude (the same happens in the men’s spa).  And also why cell phone usage was not allowed inside this part of the entire facility.  There was a Jacuzzi, mist room, steam room, sauna, showers, and large vanity area to do your own hair and makeup before leaving.  Every toiletry you can think of was supplied.

I was shown to my locker where I could change out of my clothes and into…I have to pause just thinking about this luxurious thing…the amazing spa robe.  I don’t know the exact thread count on any spa robe I’ve ever draped around myself, but whatever it is, it makes me feel like I never want to put on my own clothes ever again.  The coolness of the material against my skin immediately puts me in a refreshingly calm state.  Any tension I felt just melted away once I let my arms slip into the sleeves, causing the robe to cascade down my back, signaling that the escape begins now.  This was before my massage!  It’s like the appetizer before the entrée.  I’ve always been happy with the robes at all the different spas I’ve been in.  I don’t even mind the slippers.  Their appearance is usually hit or miss.  They’re the type you wouldn’t wear outside, but are all about them inside.

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Donning my spa robe-and-slipper uniform, I tied my hair up and roamed around relishing in the brief ten minutes I had the entire spa to myself before another female client showed up.  I wasn’t interested in the jacuzzi or anything else, I actually wanted to start reading a book I bought several months ago, Paris My Sweet, before it was time for my massage.  I had about 45 minutes to kill, so I ducked into the Quiet Room.

Most spas will have a quiet room in addition to the waiting area.  This particular one was a narrow room, lights dimmed, with 5 recliners on either side, each one with its own blanket rolled up on the seat, ready for use.  Curtain panels separate each chair for partial privacy.  I reclined in one and began reading my book, stopping periodically to look around at the chairs and think, these have got to be La-Z-Boys, because they look like the recliner I have at home.  After fifteen minutes I started to feel drowsy, and didn’t want to fall asleep for fear of missing the call for my massage, so I moved back out to the waiting area to continue reading.

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Thirty minutes later, I heard a voice quietly ask, “Is there a Connie here?”  It was time for my massage.  I turned around to meet Brad, the therapist for my session.  He shook my hand and led me back to one of the massage rooms.

I’ve gotten massages and body treatments from both men and women at this point, and I honestly have no preference.  In my opinion, it helps when booking appointments.  If I have no preference, I feel like it increases my chances of getting my appointment booked when I want.  If I choose one or the other, I feel like that decreases my chances by fifty percent.  This has been my attempt to apply math to daily life.  Back to our regular scheduled programming.

As Brad and I headed towards the massage room, he asked if there were any particular areas I specifically wanted him to target or avoid.  Massage therapists should ask you this before your massage ever begins.  I told him that most of my stress gets absorbed around my shoulders and neck, and he nodded in understanding.  I also told him that I have always been a little sensitive with getting massages and don’t like too much pressure at the start.  He said we wouldn’t be doing any deep tissue massage at all, which I absolutely appreciated.  I also added that I seem to get a little ticklish around the middle of my back, before I’m even touched, like it’s a reflex or something.  “So if I start to um, buck, or something, it’s me trying to relax but my body can sense that it’s about to be touched right there so just tell me to take a deep breath.”  Brad seemed to be familiar with this type of reaction so he nodded and said, “we’re going to be all about pure relaxation.”  LOVE IT!

He stepped out of the room momentarily to allow me to disrobe (I was wearing a bikini, which he said he could work around the strings) and lay face down on the table.  Oh man, can we talk about massage tables for a second?  Let’s see, I’ve already bought a robe from the first time I visited a spa (unfortunately it was the hotel robe and not the spa robe because they were supposedly sold out, so I settled), already bought the supplies for my favorite treatment…how can I emulate the feeling of laying on a massage table at home?  How can I take this thing home with me?  I can make it fit in my car.

My body becomes a magnet to these massage tables.  Once I’m lying on one, good luck getting me back up.  The linens are as about as soft as the robes themselves, smoothed out – NOT ONE WRINKLE ON THEM – and warmed up, but not the kind of warm where you feel like you’re about to climb into a bed someone just slept in.  I quickly got in, pulled the thin layers of linens over me, and stuck my face into the well-cushioned face rest.  I was ready to knock out.

Brad entered the room and adjusted the linens on my back.  “Which do you prefer today, lotion or oil?”  he asked.

Shoot, I was already drifting and had to snap out of it to make a quick decision.  “Um, let’s do oil.”  I figured I have lotion at home, go for something that’s not part of your day-to-day.  Applying warm oil to his hands, Brad began the massage.  During the time I was face-down, he quietly worked on my shoulders, back, arms, and legs.

True to form, my body tensed up as he worked on the middle of my back.  He took slow, deep breaths, which I interpreted as him telling me how I need to breathe in order to relax.  In my opinion, this is another sign of a good massage therapist.  I’d like to think that they’re the ultimate professionals.  They understand that regardless of being a seasoned veteran spa-goer, or a complete rookie, YOU, the client, are in a position of vulnerability, much more than if you’re in a well-lit doctor’s exam room.  You are in a dark room, clothes off, and lying face down.  You don’t know exactly know what’s coming to you and in the process of relaxing, you could fall asleep, essentially being unconscious and even more vulnerable.  Massage therapists (should) know this.  They know one wrong move, one wrong word, and they – and their employer – have a lawsuit on their hands.

Anyway, what I appreciated about Brad demonstrating the breathing pattern he wanted me to do is that he didn’t say “just relax” when my body tensed up.  If it were that easy, my body wouldn’t be tensing up.  I’ve had therapists tell me “now just relax,” when they started working on the middle of my back and quite honestly, it made me less relaxed because then I thought, “if I can’t relax, they can’t continue to work…oh God, what must they be thinking of me…ok relax…relax…why can’t I relax?!”  And then the massage wouldn’t completely serve its purpose.  Yeah, I don’t like that.  Don’t make my massage feel like school.

After a taking a few slow, deep breaths, my body stopped tensing up, allowing Brad to finish working out the stress from my back.  As he continued on my legs, we both silently noticed that my body again tensed up between my right hip and thigh, and also on my foot.

“Would you mind if I used a hot stone?”  I felt my face contort to confusion.  I’ve never had a hot stone used on me before.  I immediately pictured the Allstate commercial with Adam Devine as he spends the day at the spa, specifically when a row of stones is placed along his back.  “Uh, go for it.”  I didn’t know what to expect, and I don’t even know what Brad did, but I felt one of his hands slightly warmer than the other as he targeted practically all of my right leg.  Neither of my legs have ever reacted in tensing up, the way my back usually did.  I swear, when getting a massage, you discover nerves you didn’t know you had, not to mention your reflexes.

What I assumed was more than past the halfway point, Brad had me turn over so that I was now facing up.  He adjusted the bolster under my knees so that my back was flat against the table and gently lifted my head to insert a neck pillow and keep my head aligned with the rest of my body.  He continued to work on my legs and arms, and also spent some time on my neck.

My eyes were closed.  I was in pure bliss.  I was probably smiling a little.  Even when Brad would stop to apply more oil or adjust the linens under my legs and arms, I just did not care.  I didn’t care about anything, anyone, whether I was naked or wearing a bikini, if my hair was messed up, if I had a stupid look on my face – PURE RELAXATION ACHIEVED.  ENDORPHINS RUNNING WILD.  If you’ve never felt yourself melt away into being a semi-conscious vegetable (in this context, it’s a good thing), try it.  In the words of Ferris Bueller, “it is SO choice.”  I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want to feel this relaxed, even if it was only for under an hour.  It’s worth it.

My skin felt fresh.  There was enough oil on me to feel moisturized but not too much to where the linens were sticking to me.  For a few minutes I laid there, trying to absorb enough of this moment so that the feeling, the actual feeling of the oil and linens touching me, became a vivid memory.  I wasn’t dreaming, and I definitely didn’t care or pay attention to whatever else Brad was doing, but eventually I heard the chimes, and what felt like another blanket being placed on my legs.  It was my robe.

“Ok Connie, that’s the end of our session.  Your robe is right here on the table, I’ll be right outside with some fresh water for you, but take your time.”

Internally: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

“Mmm….ohhkaaaay…”  I managed to quietly respond.

My eyes hadn’t been opened since I first got on the table, but I opened them to look around the room, harpy music still playing, lights still dimmed, the ambiance was still there.  This is one of the downsides to the spa:  at some point, your treatment or massage is over.  Every single time I’ve been to a spa, when the therapist says “take your time” before they leave the room to allow you to get off the table, I seriously want to just stay where I am and not get up.  I’d think, if they come back into the room to wonder why I haven’t emerged, I’ll respond with, “What? You told me to take my time and not to rush, so I’m taking my time.”  But that would be extremely rude and inconsiderate not only to the other clients, but to the massage therapist.  I know when you go to a spa it’s supposed to be all about you but unless you own the place and have it all to yourself, take your deep breath, be grateful for the time you had, and get off the table.

I was trying to stay relaxed and happy, but I felt my mouth form a bit of a pout.  I didn’t want to leave this room, but Brad had been so great, I didn’t want him to be standing outside with my water any longer than he needed to be.  I slowly pulled the covers away from me and slipped back into my robe, slipped my slippers back on, and slowly opened the door to find Brad there waiting.  He handed me my water and walked me back towards the waiting area.

“How did you like your massage?”

I took a sip of water, my eyes still half open, and smiled.  “It was amazing,” I replied dreamily.  “Thank you so much, I really didn’t want to get up.”

Brad smiled.  “Well thank you, I appreciate that.  You don’t have to go to work do you?”  It was probably a little after 10am.

“Nope, I have nothing else planned for the day.”

“That’s good, I can’t tell you how many people come in for morning massages and then when they’re done they say, ok thanks, I’m off to work and I’m like, ahhh, what??”  He kind of shook his fists in the air.  “But since you don’t have to be anywhere else, feel free to stay as long as you want, you can do whatever you want, go wherever you want, everything is here for you.”

“Great!  Were there any other areas besides my back where you noticed some knots or anything?”

“Yes, your back was just as you had described, but, and I’m sure you noticed, there was tension along your legs and feet as well.  Now sometimes the body will mask pain in the form of being ticklish so you can do some things on your own that could help alleviate that pain.”  He continued to tell me about rolling tennis balls under my feet and using them against the wall to help with my back.  “Rolling and heat help a ton,” he said.  Brad then handed me a card with information on how to book my next appointment, and also his suggestion of what my next treatment should be (an 80-minute deep tissue massage, which should be scheduled four weeks from this day), in addition to his availability.

“And again, please stay as long as you want, we’re open until 9:00 tonight – “

“Can I take a nap?”  I asked.

“Oh absolutely! Just head over to the Quiet Room and prop yourself up on a recliner.  Do whatever you like.”  Don’t you love what this guy is saying?

I shook Brad’s hand and thanked him for my massage and assessment, told him I wanted to live here, then went back to my locker to retrieve my phone and headed back to the Quiet Room.  I read for a little bit, but then felt the same drowsiness I had felt earlier and positioned myself in the recliner to take a nap.  I started thinking, how am I going to recreate this at home?  Why can’t my home look and feel like this?  I napped for about thirty minutes, waking up to hear what sounded like a spa party outside (someone made a toast), and more women entering the Quiet Room.

I was a little bit annoyed, and debated just how long I should stay.  Should I roam around?  Try the jacuzzi?  Mist room?  Steam room?  Sauna?  My skin still felt nice and moisturized, so I didn’t want to wash any of that away.  I read my book for a little bit more before my stomach started to rumble.  Noon was approaching, and I needed to eat.

Some spas will offer healthy food options for lunch, but of course, at an additional cost.  I was already using a chunk of my gift card balances and didn’t want to spend the rest of it on food, so made the tough decision to get ready to leave.  I passed by the showers, the kind that has a sunflower head above, and smaller heads on the shower walls so that water comes at you from every direction but south.  I had to try them.  I would’ve loved to have stood directly underneath the sunflower shower head but I was having a good hair day.  I used the body wash provided and took a short shower, keeping my bikini in a plastic bag also provided by the spa.  The bathroom attendants put a fresh towel on my shower door and I stepped out, put my robe back on, and headed towards the sinks to put on body moisturizer.  Man, I thought, I can’t apply this as good as Brad does.  And if I wasn’t hungry I’d be staying!

I headed back to my locker and got dressed, redid my hair in the vanity area, and reluctantly deposited my locker key in the basket as I exited the women’s spa, confirming to myself that my half day at the spa was coming to an end.  I was happy and sad at the same time.  Was glad that I allowed myself to be pampered, but bummed it was over.

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I headed back out to the front desk and settled my bill with my gift cards, which took no time at all.  Then, I was back outside.  As relaxed as I had been all morning, I seriously felt like I had been sheltered from society for years, was thrust back out into the real world, and didn’t know what to do or where to go.

I won’t bore you with any details of the rest of my day but as the length of this post can tell you, a day at the spa, for however long you go, is something I will always recommend to anyone and everyone.  That is coming from someone who rarely takes risks and is always thinking practically, especially with the way her money is spent.

I get it.  The spa is considered a luxury and you may not have the time or money for it.  I would have gone to the spa regardless of if I had used my gift cards or not.  Look for spa deals and affordable packages, book shorter massages/treatments that have the affordable prices and save the longer timed ones for another day.  The beauty of spas is that you have those options to pick and choose from, you can tailor your treatments to your own budget.  When you do have the opportunity to splurge a little, DON’T BE AFRAID TO DO IT.  Don’t be afraid to treat yourself.  You are the only you that the world has, take care of YOU.  Give yourself some happiness.

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